On Making Sense Of What's In Our Heads

I was asked a question by a prospective client that surprised me this week.  It came after explaining my approach to figuring out what we want and how all the information we need is in our heads.

But is it really already in our heads?  What if it’s just not there?  (paraphrasing)

I had to take a beat to process what this question was really getting at and remember what it felt like all those times I felt stuck, hoping for answers to appear.

What I registered was the honest concern that we simply may not have the answers to the questions that plague us most, like... What do we want?  And if that’s the case, what do we do then?

Taking a moment to consider the alternatives… where else would the answers come from?

We wanted liberation from our parents to live our lives how we want (as defined by us).  

We wanted liberation from schools to let us dress, speak, act the way we want (as defined by us).  

We want(ed) liberation from our companies to let us work how we want (as defined by us).

So if we want liberation from the current state of boredom, stuckness, lostness, confusion, idea swirl, indecision, analysis paralysis to live how we want… who else would define that for us?

So, my answer is… Yes.  It’s all there!  It may not be neatly packaged in the form of explicit directions for happiness and it may look different for each of us, but it is 100% there.

The challenge is extracting it, processing it, and making sense of it all.  We can quickly get confused by the numerous (and sometimes competing) surface level thoughts, which already pull us in different directions, that we're exhausted at step 1.  But if you push through that step, I guarantee there is clarity on the other side.

I equate it to a jigsaw puzzle or random ingredients in our fridge.  When er look at each individual item, it’s not clear how it’s going to add up to a cohesive whole and it’s confusing where to even begin.  But as we start to organize them and give them structure, we can start to see what the possibilities are.

It’s not easy to get to clear conclusions.  There is work to put in.  So I don’t mean to say that magic answers exist in the recesses of our brains and we just have to dig them out.

Instead what we’re extracting are the raw materials of our inspiration.  The ingredients list that make up the sum whole of possibility that excites each of us, uniquely.  

Once we do the brain dump, then starts the next step of processing and organizing, so that we can distill those ingredients into something usable and actionable… insights that can guide us towards a decision we feel confident about.

So… Yes, it is in our heads.  And with some work, you can figure out what to do with it.  I’m here if you want to chat through it.


🙏🙏,

Pam